Self parenting, a personal care process, is an art that every person should nurture. Moreover, this personal care activity is vital for you because absence of private time hampers your daily life activities.
As a consequence, you may fall into problematic situations like showing anger in a formal situation, misbehaving with your co-workers, wasting time unnecessarily dwelling in past events, ruining a relationship, or finding no solution.
According to a survey of clockify, you yearly spend on average only 3% of your daily activities for personal care activities.
It is needless to say that the world isn’t a charitable place where you can do anything you want without facing any troubles. Additionally, your childish activities may result in difficulties in certain stages of life.
Perhaps, when you were just a kid, your parents were there to take care of you. You are now matured enough to solve any sort of problem you may face.
Instead, there is a room in your mind where you feel you are not an elderly one. That room doesn’t want to suffocate in a harsh situation, rather wants to fly like a free butterfly. From that room you may get some painful incidents which need to be healed.
Self Parenting Techniques to Heal Your Pain
As you’re grown up, you have a childhood inside your mind which can be shown in any inferior circumstances. And, that child can’t regulate the emotions which must be framed in a rigorous way.
Here are 4 steps to use self parenting to nurture your internal child.
- Enter in Your “Parent self”
- Relocate the Child Within
- Providing What that Child Needs
- Inhale the New Emotion
Now let’s deep-dive into the points.
Enter in Your “Parent self”
We all have a parental care self. And all we need to do is access that self and understand the child inside. It is not a comfortable thing to do without practice. So, here are a few ways to enter there.
- Are you a parent of a child
- Appease the child’s sabotage
- Open the wise self
Let’s dive in the points here.
Are you a parent of a child
If you are a mother or father of your child, you know the art of parenting by this time. This task would be easier for you. Take a painful phase of your life. Try to understand the situation and soothe your child inside.
Appease the child’s sabotage
Imagine how you’d appease your child’s agony. In other words, practice entering the part of you that would care for his or her welfare.
Open the wise self
We all have a wise self in our mind that helps our friends and closed ones. So, make sure you are not with negative emotions rather try to heal the person’s perspective carefully positively.
Relocate the Child Within
If you’ve recently met a child you’ll have found that they are very casual in sharing everything from their pure heart. But relocating your child self might be exhaustive for you. Maybe, he or she is hiding himself or herself under a table.
Try to find him or her, Then start addressing his or her age, dress, feeling, and thinking. Make the child talk to you by entertaining him or her with some amazing stories. Find what originally hurt his or her emotions and welcome the conversation with warm charm.
Providing What that Child Needs for Parenting Self
When you start to heal your child’s pain, make sure you’re providing quality time with your child within. Make him or her feel safe and confident. Embrace his or her agony and ensure your proper gesture with the child.
Inhale the New Emotion
Make sure your internal child is feeling the fresh emotion. Don’t leave him or her before he or she inhales the relaxation. After hugging him or her tight, say goodbye for now and return to your present situation. You need to promise your child inside that you’ll be back whenever he or she needs.
4 Reasons Why Self Parenting is Important
Firstly, do you remember what your parents did in your childhood? Quite a tough right? They loved all of you and didn’t act like a harsh critic. One way to self-care is reparenting your internal child. But why is reparenting your kid inside vital?
Here are the four crucial reasons why reparenting self is important
- Storing Your Feelings
- Unable to Regulate Your Emotions
- True Facts for Neglected Ones
- Child’s Development and Parents
Reparenting your inner child is crucial in every stage of your life. So, let’s deep-dive into the answers.
Storing Your Feelings
You might deny your feelings and store them in your mind for a long time. You may not nurture your emotions, rather think that this is the reality that you have to accept. The route of the storage of your sentiment isn’t unidirectional. It has a huge outcome when you don’t even expect it. Perhaps, your way of expression leads to feeling you an idiot.
Unable to Regulate Your Emotions
Regulating emotion is like overcoming stone roll. Do you know your parents and your environment are the key catalysts of the regulations of your feelings? Your “out-of-control” situations display the internal you; how you grew up! If you are not taught the value of emotion, eventually, you’ll disgrace this fact.
True Facts for Neglected Ones
“Big brother is watching you.”
– George Orwell (1984)
This famous quotation depicted the muse of surveillance. But this is true for you also. You are the caretaker of yourself who scolds on anything to your inner child and you live by the rules you learned. Moreover, you hold the beliefs about people you don’t even know that you have. If you’re a neglected one, this fact is very true for you.
Child’s Development and Parents
Can the parents meet all the necessary needs of a child’s development? Though this question is quite debatable, parents are also human beings and they don’t have the experience of psycho-analysts.
You don’t get the proper development in your childhood. Hence, you’ll reach adulthood with unmet needs and many developmental tasks yet to accomplish.
Why Your Child Self Still Alive
However, you may have many questions about yourself like why do you say what you say? So, why do you feel what you feel? These questions show up as your childish character is still alive.
Here are 2 reasons of existing your child self:
- Reflection of Your Learned Behavior
- Dealing with Adult-functioning
Let’s have a deep look at the facts following.
Reflection of Your Learned Behavior
From the very beginning of your life, you learned the process of how to treat yourself from your community, family or books. You learned how the people of your surroundings treat you. So, you didn’t have the idea of learning when you were learning.
It was natural and spontaneous in you. As a result, the entire thing reflects your emotion and behavior.
Dealing with Adult-functioning
It is a vital skill to have the capabilities to deal with adult-functioning. But, your parents might not be able to deal with those adult-functioning that causes your child still exists.
Becoming Successful in Self Parenting
Reparenting might be a great solution in the future journey of your life. It is the process of learning which is vital for the next stages of your life. So, be a parent of yourself who can guide what is good for you and what is bad for you.
Successful reparenting starts with learning all your aspects. Thus, you can get the pieces of yourself that require care.
Above all, the reason is no parent can fulfill every single developmental need of a child, there are parts of each of you that experienced trauma, or hurt. So, the confused, immature, and dysfunctional parts need to be nourished carefully. These aspects of yourself have no idea how to live life on life’s terms.
Self Parenting: Final Words
After getting all the resources, now you realize that you need a parent in you who can nurture your inner injury and sabotage. More or less everyone feels similarly.
Most importantly, all you need to grow self parenting to heal all the wounded parts and love your entire entity by not becoming judgmental like a baby. As a result, spending more time with your inner child for reparenting will make you understand all your childish activities to grow you inside.
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